Rajdhani

Phew! Were they lucky! The Guru, followed by his sidekick, sat under a large mango tree. They had just been on an adventure which they would rather forget.

The Guru and the side kick were two completely different people. The guru was an old skinny hunch-back with a slivery grey beard, which went down to his shoulders. He wore leather sandals which matched his traditional brown Indian clothes. He carried with him, a long, wooden, crooked, walking stick. The Guru was known for his wisdom and was respected by everyone in his town, including his sidekick.

The sidekick was a short chubby little character, who was no where near as intelligent as the Guru, but what the sidekick didn’t lack, was determination. He dressed in a rugged manner and was very faithful to the Guru. However the guru and the sidekick put their differences aside and lived together quite happily.

Their adventure began when, the Guru said to his sidekick, “We live such a tedious life lets depart this lifeless town.”

“You mean like an adventure?” replied the sidekick eagerly.

“Call it whatever you desire, as long as we get out of this rotten old town,” declared the Guru. So they packed only necessary luggage in their small handy rucksacks, dug out all their money and set off on this voyage.

After numerous days of travelling they eventually approached a small, ordinary looking town. It had few major landmarks and housing, but was rich with character. Here the guru and his sidekick decided to buy something to eat, so they went into a shop nearby and asked “How much for the bread?” to which the shopkeeper replied,

“A kilogram for a Rupee.”

Both the Guru and the sidekick had several pounds amongst them and elected to go for something a little more expensive and of a higher quality. At that moment the sidekick spotted some fresh, tender, looking meat and asked its price, to which the shopkeeper responded “A kilogram for a Rupee.” The two visitors thought this was peculiar, so they asked “Is everything in the shop the same price?”

The shopkeeper answered “Not only in this shop is everything of an identical price, but in every shop in town.”

With this splendid news the sidekick was jubilant and rushed to the jewellers shop and asked, “How much is it for Silver and Gold.” Sure enough the shopkeeper told him, “A Kilogram for a Rupee.”

The sidekick thought it was fantastic and wanted to take advantage of this opportunity, “We must stay.” said the sidekick with a glint in his eye. In spite of this, the Guru being wise and far more superior to his sidekick said, “No, we cannot stay here. We must leave this place at once.”

“But why?” demanded the bamboozled Sidekick with a tear in his eye.

“Oh, my dear friend. Can you not see that these folks do not know the value of anything, which suggests that these people are, mighty stupid,” replied the Guru, wisely.

“That’s what I mean. We can gain greatly from such a rare occasion!” the sidekick, ginned

“But my friend, where there is stupidity there is always danger. Have you not heard of the saying “a stupid friend is worse than a wise enemy.”” the Guru said wisely.

“Come on, what could possibly go wrong?” asked the Sidekick. Seeing the sidekick’s anxiety, the Guru settled on staying.

The next day, there was an enormous case in the town’s biggest and only court, the king’s court. There had been a dreadful robbery and a man had been accused. The king of this settlement was to judge this man on whether he was guilty.

“Was there a motive to your horrendous deed?” demanded the King.

“Well y’ hona,” replied the man, “I wor walkin’ along mindin’ me own business when I saw a ‘ole in tha wall. Sa’, I just walked in an’ grabbed tha goods, innit? So it wor’ tha builder’s fault. Wot y’ reckon y’hona? Cos if tha’ wall din’t hav’ a ‘ole in it I wouldn’t hav’ gor in.”

“Of course! Summon the builder!” bellowed the King. So the king’s men went out and brought the builder. “Explain yourself peasant, why was the wall so ridiculously weak?” enquired the King

“If truth be told, your majesty, I am astonished the wall had not all disintegrated when this crook arrived,” answered the builder, “I did my finest with such pitiable quality of cement mix. The cement mixer had done a repulsive job, and surely is to blame.”

After giving it some consideration, the king came to a verdict “Find me the mixer!” he shouted. So the king’s men left to bring in the mixer. The king posed the mixer this question: “Why did you mix such sickening cement?”

“W-w-well s-s-sir I-I-I was mixing t-t-the cement and t-t-the water, when a woman wearing golden jewellery distracted m-m-e as t-t-the jewels shined s-s-so bright,” stuttered the mixer anxiously. “S-s-so the woman with t-t-the jewellery is t-t-to blame.”

The king took no time to settle on a decision and told his men to go and find the women with the excessive gold on. So the king’s men went and brought in the woman, to whom the king shouted “Why were you indulged in such gleaming jewels?”

“It is quite impossible that this man was unfocused by me personally, as it was entirely to do with the jewellery, which I took no part in creating.” the woman informed the judge, “So you see it is surely all the goldsmith’s fault and I did not participate in any of this nonsense.”

The King without thinking demanded to see the goldsmith, so his men went out and brought in the jeweller. The king asked “Why did you craft such glittery jewellery?”

The jeweller was an old feeble man and said “Yes, it was me; it is my fault for making the jewellery so eye catching, which caused this fiasco.” As soon as the man admitted this, the king yelled, “HANG HIM!”

There was uproar in the king’s court.

The King’s men made sure the rope was secure, when they were about to hang the man the loop would not fit his weak and bony neck. The king, wanting to bring justice upon his settlement, ordered his men to find someone who had a neck thick enough to fit the loop. So the men left the court to locate a thick-necked man.

Meanwhile, the Guru and his sidekick had been eating a lot of cheap, but high quality food. They both had grown enormously plump and were easily spotted by the king’s men and escorted away, as they had necks ideal for the loop. The sidekick turned to the Guru and said “We are surely going to die! Oh, why did…”

“Don’t worry my friend, interrupted the Guru you made a mistake. I will not use this against you. But at present, I have an idea which may just get us out of this mess, now listen carefully…”

The two of them were forced to stand in front of the king so that he could make a decision, on which of these two should be hanged. The king told the sidekick “You are to be killed!” as soon as the king spoke these words, the Guru started to shout. “NO! Kill me; oh please kill me your majesty,”

“Okay!” said the king, seeing no reason why not to oblige

“NO, stick to your first decision, your majesty. Kill me!” objected the sidekick.

Bewildered, the king asked, “Why do you both wish to die so desperately?”

“Well, my lord,” answered the Guru, “we have been researching for countless years. We have calculated that who ever should die at this moment in time will certainly become a king in heaven.”

“In that case it should be me who dies, as I have been king of this settlement long enough and now I should go higher to become a king in heaven,” announced the king

So without saying anymore, the king hanged himself. After this the Guru and the Sidekick didn’t hang about, and fled the city to never return.

Aftaab